Why do men and women get such different financial advice?
Something Jason and I often discuss is where unconscious biases about women come from. There are many, many sources, but something that stands out to me as baffling is the advice men and women get about money.
When I first met Jason, he sent out his laundry and ordered takeout every night. My first thought was about how much money he could save if he just cooked a little and did his own laundry on weekends. I offered to show him some cheap and easy recipes. But Jason pointed out something that hadn’t really occurred to me - the value of his own time. He worked every single Sunday and spending a few more hours at work translated into a bigger bonus or faster advancement, making it a better investment of his time than cooking.
When I was in my early 20s, most pieces of money or financial advice I got revolved around saving money: cooking my own food vs. takeout, bringing my lunch to work, skipping a daily latte or scheduling a “no-spend” day. And while cost savings and paying down debt are important, the value of my own time never came up. Furthermore, when it came to investment, articles would focus on how “scary” investing was, normalize being clueless about money or talk about how “complex” 401-Ks were.
The emphasis on the risk of investing reminded me of a passage from Mindy Kaling’s Why Not Me?
“We just assume boys will be confident, like how your parents assume you will brush your teeth every morning without checking in on you in the bathroom. With girls, that assumption flies out the window. Suddenly, your parents are standing in the bathroom with you, watching you brush your teeth with encouraging, worried expressions on their faces. Sweetheart, you can do it! We know it's hard to brush your teeth! We love you! Which must make girls think, Yikes. Is brushing your teeth a really hard and scary thing to do? I thought it was just putting toothpaste on a toothbrush. I get worried that telling girls how difficult it is to be confident implies a tacit expectation that girls won't be able to do it.”
Financial advice for women feels similar. The more women are exposed to articles that talk about how intimidating investing and money management is, the more it’s likely to actually feel intimidating.
Why don’t men get advice like this? Men’s websites encourage men by telling them “time is money.” They give how-to guides to explain more complicated investments, such as bonds, vs. 401-ks and Roth IRAs. Even the tone of basic investing articles is totally different - there’s an assumption that the guy reading is smart, confident, and able to manage healthy risk.
I definitely don’t think men’s magazines give amazing financial advice. But it makes me wonder: why not present investing and wealth-building as very achievable goals for women? If there’s a wealth gap between men and women, are meal prepping and DIY manicures really going to solve it?